How many of you feel that you have so many different responsibilities in your life, that you cannot possibly make it all work. You may be focusing on work obligations while trying to keep your household up and running. All of this running around creates a feeling of hopelessness. I have seen it countless times with clients that try to do it all with enormous to-do lists, and in the end they feel like a failure. Sometimes I just need to remind them of the larger picture. When all is said and done, do you really think anyone is going to care that your home is spotless? Rather, what they will remember is how they felt in your presence, the memories you shared. Individuals are under an extreme amount of stress, with work, financial concerns, children, and the many responsibilities that we take on.
I think the first step is to realize that you cannot possibly do everything for everyone. Sometimes you need to be willing to ask for help. Bring on a cleaning service. Order take out every now and then. Ask a friend to swap for childcare. Ask your spouse to plan a meal once a week or take the kids while you tidy up. I think it is also important to lower our expectations every now and then. Cooking a healthy home cooked meal every single night is a huge task in and of itself. This of course comes after a full day of work or activities around the children. I admit that I used to fall into this trap when my kids were younger. I felt guilty if I didn’t plan every meal, sign them up for extracurricular activities, host playgroups, clean the home, and manage my own life on the side. After trial and error and a lot of inner searching, I realized it was absolutely OK to let the guilt go and just do my best. I was a much better mother and wife when I was able to put things in perspective and live more in the moment. The laundry eventually got done. My family was always fed healthy meals, whether home cooked or brought in. The world didn’t come to an end if I didn’t clean the bathroom spotless every week. So, my wish for you this week is to cut yourself some slack and look at the larger picture.
ACTION TIPS FOR THE WEEK:
1. Does it really matter?
This week when you find yourself stressing about getting everything done, just take a step back. Does what you are doing really matter all that much? Can you delegate to someone else? Can you ask for help? Can you put it off to a later date? Give yourself permission to take a breath and let some things go.
2. Superheroes don’t exist
Sometimes we feel like we need to be superwoman or superman. We see other people doing it all and feel compelled to keep up with the Jones’s. Let me be very clear. You do not need or cannot be superwoman and maintain it all. Something will give, and most likely it will be your health and happiness. Do your best and let some things go this week.
3. Take a break
When you feel caught up in doing everything for everyone, try to be aware enough to slow down and take a break. I used to feel guilty every time I would sit down and read a good book for 10 minutes. I would jump right up and get back to work. Now I realize the importance of taking some down time. It is a necessity not a moment of pampering. Take a break and enjoy it~