Cutting Edge Ideas to Transform You and Your Life

We as human beings are bombarded with messages that somehow we’re not good enough and that we need to improve ourselves. From negative messages received from our inner critic (our mind) to our parents teachers and spouse who are constantly telling us where we went wrong and how we can make improvements.

Then there is the media who are constantly telling us that we need the new car or watch or fashion accessory in order to be cool. If you too wear this watch you will have the status of George Clooney. Yeah right minus the multi-million dollar bank account and the good looking chicks!

Is it not just enough to be yourself?

Can’t we just be happy with who we are?

Well, NO! Not if you’re fat, ugly and broke and you can’t think of anything better to do with your time than read Heat and eat at McDonald’s. I’m sorry but there is just no excuse for that. I’m sorry but if you fit into the category above – and with the size of your ass you would have a hard time fitting into anything – you’ll just have to rewrite the book. Though first you will need to stop reading Heat and go and read something a little more sophisticated like Paddington Bear…

Have you ever known such a polite Bear?

I mean this Bear has style; eats marmalade sandwiches the lot, even auditioned for several adverts… again eating sandwiches!

But back to the point! if you’re going to re-write the book then you will first have to learn how to write. Yes, you get a pen, and a piece of paper

and then you pick up the pen and Zzzzzzz Two hours fifty five minutes later…

Sorry I was asleep waiting for you to realise that no there is no book for you to write; it was just a god damn metaphor!!! And anyway how could you write a book with a piece of paper. In your case you would need at least three to five pieces of paper!

OK now that I have ridiculed all those (especially you) who read trashy magazines and eat at trashy fast food joints… You didn’t think I was going to call McDonald’s a restaurant did you? Bloody cheek calling themselves a restaurant; you would get more nutrition from a smoking a joint rather than eating one from a cloned chicken.

All ridicules aside I am in fact a very compassionate person – The Buddha in comparison is nothing but a pimp; the Dalai Lama… well he was seen the other day in McDonald’s reading Heat and eating that cloned chicken.

If you want to change yourself then go and get a picture of favourite icon and just maybe if you focus your mind long enough the law of attraction will work for you and you will magically transform into a carbon copy of your favourite genius guru actor or pin-up calendar girl/boy.

I wish I’d done it along time ago.

With the brains of Einstein and Clooney’s bank account; not to mention a pair of tits like Lara Croft and a big fat 12 inch Shiva lingam (you have to have the best of both worlds) I’d have no need to change…

And nor would you!

So if you want my advice stop spending your hard earned cash on self help books and go and get several organ transplants rob a bank and then you’ll be on the right path. Yes this is one of the few articles out there that actually lives up to it’s title. Go get em cowboy!